wedding wedding wedding

can you tell where my mind has been? my brain is FULL of wedding stuff!!! It's a little over a year away and it is now time to crack down!

Yesterday

I spent HOURS trying to figure out what the groomsmen will wear. I finally came to a compromise with Mike and really like what we settled on.

I just want the day and the week to be so US. I want people to walk away thinking, "that was so Ellie and Mike!" I want people to remember our day and know how much love I poured into it. I want every detail to be thought of, I want every moment dripped in love, and color and fun. So yeah, I have big expectations.... no big deal.

I feel like I should have a wedding planner but seriously, I don't think I would trust anyone to do this expect myself. Yes, my mom is always sending me random ideas, some awesome, some not, but that goes for me too. I have some REALLY great ideas and then some I look back on and go, "Huh?!" I am very thankful that we have such a long engagement, it is allowing me to hash out the good ideas and throw away the bad ones. It is also giving me the chance to step away from planning when I get frustrated. So today I will share with you some of my wedding inspiration.

ENJOY!

Love, love can keep us together!

So, first off, APOLOGIES. I have been ignoring this blog! Mostly because my life has been in a state of upheaval, I quit my job, I found a NEW job, I start today, and through it all I really believe God has been working through me and my heart. My post about bliss a few weeks ago really started it all. I put the idea of finding bliss out there in the big ole universe and by golly it has started to come true. So forgive my lack of posts, but believe me, my life is a CHANGIN' and if you want the details, come find me.... :)

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about what a difference a YEAR makes. How much has changed, and how different things are right now compared to this time last year. I can say with absolute certainty that all of these wonderful changes are because of the love of my life.

(this is about to get mushy folks, back out now if you want to!)

Michael Ross Livingston

HOLY COW!!!! I love this guy.

As I am typing this I am trying not to cry. I SWEAR I am not this mushy gushy all of the time, but right now I am dedicating this post to LOVE, and love that lasts.

This time last year he sent me to the mall to look for engagement rings, I almost fainted when trying on the first ring but my friend Steff held me together and we got through 4 stores before finding my DREAM ring at Kay Jewelers.

And then on July 4th he popped the question and I said YES.

From then to now, we have been through a LOT. There is no one else on EARTH that I would move to Pasco, WA for. And there is no one else on earth who has the patience to deal with me.

Mike's birthday is tomorrow and today I get to make him a German chocolate cake, from scratch of course, since from scratch means I LOVE YOU.

Since my birthday is on the 18th we have decided to give ourselves the gift of baseball. So from June 17-19th we will be in Seattle watchin the Phillies beat the CRAP outta the Mariners. So for his birthday he just asked for a cake, THAT I CAN DO!

I am not saying that this relationship is perfect, but it is perfect for us. He fills me, he makes my heart sing, he encourages me, and he ALWAYS puts me first. For much of my life I didn't think I would find anyone. I am difficult, picky, and I am an actress... thus I am impossible to please. But for some reason, this scientist fit the bill. And ask any of my family or friends, this love has changed me, calmed me, empowered me in so many ways. That what love does I suppose, it changes you. Makes you the better version of yourself.

So never give up, never stop looking, never lessen yourself for someone else. Be picky, be outspoken, be yourself and love will find you. It takes work, it takes fights and hugs, and a LOT of humor. Since this is the season of weddings, love is in the air. If you have love, be thankful for it. Never take it for granted. Hug harder, kiss deeper, and spend sometime being thankful. Your puzzle piece is out there, waiting, and when you find it, and it fits, your life will never be the same.

So on this June 8th I will be saying some extra prayers of thankfulness for this kind, warm, funny, nerdy, smart, amazing man.

Happy Birthday My Love!

You are my everything. None of what I do would be possible without you.

Ok, have to go make a cake.... I will let you know how this turns out.

here is the recipe for the German Chocolate Cake I will be using:

• 4 ounces sweet dark chocolate (see Shopping Hint below)
• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, at room temperature
• 1/4 cup warm milk
• 2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 5 medium egg whites
• 2 cups sugar
• 5 medium egg yolks, at room temperature
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 3/4 cup buttermilk, well shaken
• For the coconut frosting:
• 1 cup sugar
• 4 medium egg yolks
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 10 ounces fresh or frozen and thawed grated coconut
• 1 1/2 cups finely ground pecans, walnuts, or almonds
• 1/4 cup warm milk

Yields: 12 servings

Preparation

Prepare the chocolate by melting it in the top of a double boiler, stirring until it is smooth. Add 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) of the butter and stir until it is melted and blended. Add 1/4 cup of warm milk and stir until smooth. Set the chocolate aside to cool.

Preheat the oven to 350ºF.

Line the bottoms only of three 9-inch cake pans with circles of parchment paper, or grease each pan bottom only with solid shortening and dust lightly with flour. Sift together the sifted and measured flour, baking soda, and salt.

Whip the egg whites until stiff using the wire beater of the mixer. Transfer the beaten whites to a separate bowl and set aside.

In the mixer bowl, cream the remaining 1 1/2 sticks of butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add the egg yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition. Add the melted, cooled chocolate and the vanilla. Mix well.

With the mixer on very low, stir in the flour mixture alternately with the buttermilk. Do this by adding about a third of the flour and slowly stirring it in completely. Then add about half the buttermilk and stir it in. Continue adding flour and buttermilk in this manner, ending with flour. Scrape the sides and bottom of the bowl and stir again. With a long-handled spoon or spatula, fold and stir the beaten egg whites into the batter until the batter is smooth with no visible clumps of whites.

Divide the batter evenly between the prepared pans and bake for 30-40 minutes. Bake on the middle rack of the oven, allowing at least 1/4-inch clearance between the pans and the oven walls. The cake will rise above the pan edges as it bakes but will not spill over and will settle back down as it continues to bake. The cake is done when it begins to pull away from the sides of the pans and springs back to a light touch. Cool layers in the pans for about 8 minutes.

Run a knife around the edges of each pan and turn the layers out onto wire racks that have been sprayed with cooking spray. Cool layers completely before frosting.

To make the frosting, combine the sugar, egg yolks, and evaporated milk in the top of a double boiler. Stir with a wire whisk until the yolks are fully incorporated. Add the butter. Place over simmering water and bring to a boil (see Note below). Simmer for 12-15 minutes longer, stirring constantly, until the mixture thickens. Add the vanilla, coconut, and nuts. Cool.

To assemble the cake, place one layer on a cake stand and spread with frosting. Frost each layer completely, top and sides, as it is added to the cake.

Note: You can also make the frosting in a regular saucepan, but be sure to stir it constantly, as it scorches quite easily. Also, you must use the finely grated fresh or frozen coconut, not canned or shredded, to be able to spread the frosting on the sides of the cake easily.

Shopping Hint: For those cooks who use a lot of sweet baking chocolate, the chocolate used in this recipe can be purchased in bulk online at www.cocoasupply.com. Choose La Equatoriale – Dark Chocolate Coverture. The cost, including postage, is half what you would probably pay in grocery stores. Share the large bar with your friends who bake.

My love letter to Oprah

I know that some of you out there may not be a big fan of the Big O, but I am. And quite frankly I am not ashamed of it. Who would not like a self made woman? Who would not like a woman who has literally inspired the world? She has done things that millions of people only dream of. She has made her voice known on SO many issues that affect so many people. She has single handedly brought the love of reading to the fore front. She is an amazing force who brings important issues to light. She shows her true emotions, even when it gets her in trouble, and in the face of so much loss and despair she shows us stories of love and strength.

I remember racing home to be able to make it there before 4 and watching her show while my little sister did homework at the dining room table (which I was also supposed to be doing). I remember so many episodes that touched my heart and made me weep. I think the FIRST show I really remember was a show she did on unknown song lyrics. That is where I learned that the words TIN ROOF RUSTED were used in the song Love Shack. This was obviously before the Internet and 10 million search engines.

Her show remained strong and always had a sense of class while all of the other talk shows of the 90's reduced themselves to baby daddy's and fighting.

She helped to teach me to love myself, no matter what my weight. If Oprah struggles with weight, it must be a pretty hard battle to face, and I shouldn't HATE myself if I lose every now and then.

When I went to college in IL I promised myself I would go see an Oprah show, and I never did. KICKING MYSELF!!!!

When I watched Oprah I felt grown up, I felt like even though I was not ready to watch the evening news (still not sure if I am) I wanted to hear what Oprah had to say.

Her FIRST book club book selection was in 1996 and was The Deep End Of The Ocean. I made my mom go out and but me this MASSIVE book, and I read it. It took time and it was about a mother losing her child to abduction but I read it. I was 12.

So as you can see this strong independent woman has been inspiring me for quite a long time. If young women don't have strong role models who are doing what they think they want to do in the world, they don't know if their dreams are possible. I want to raise my children in a world where they know that no matter their color, their sex, their sexual orientation, the size of their dreams or the size of their wallets, they KNOW that anything is possible. ANYTHING.

So that is my love letter to Ms. Winfrey. She did her job well, and because of that...

I have been changed for good.

She performed this on Oprah's surprise show... LOVE the message!

A REAL WEEKEND! FINALLY!

I have been looking forward to this weekend for a LONG time. Not only will it be my first real weekend in a LONG time, but MIKE'S FAMILY IS COMING!!!! Mom, Dad, Sister, and Grandma. They started driving from PA well over a week ago and they will be here in Pasco in about 2 hours. I am looking forward to not only seeing family but for Mike to see HIS family. He's a tough cookie sometimes, but I know how much he misses them. I talk to my mom almost everyday, where as Mike tries to call at least once a month. It's just the difference between males and females I suppose.

So tomorrow we are taking them around the Tri Cities and Saturday morning we are going to Seattle!!!

We haven't as much time in Seattle as we thought we would, but we both love that city. It's such a departure from the town we are in. It feels a little like home, and the places we are used to living because of the arts, and culture.

We know we are going to spend a lot of time at Pike Place Market.

It's such a neat place. Last time we were there we were hoping to see some fish fly (meaning the fish guys throw the fish from worker to worker, there are no winged fish) but we learned that they only throw fish when someone ORDERS a fish. And Mike and I had no intention of buying a huge friggin fish just to see it get thrown.

We don't know where else we NEED to go, maybe a boat ride, or a museum. Who cares really?! We will be in an amazing city with family. We could literally just sit on a bench downtown all weekend and I would be happy.

So no posts till at least Monday... I AM HAVING A WEEKEND!!!!!!

Finding Bliss

Sorry for my absence as of late. Lots goin on here! But this time has given me time to think so I am dedicating this post to...

BLISS

I have always loved the word bliss. It fills me with feelings of contentment, happiness, sunshine and smiles. I feel I have spent most of my life trying to to FIND my bliss and FOLLOW my bliss. It is easier said than done my friends. We all have a tendency to become complacent. We have a job, it pays ok, we don't really LIKE it, we love our friends there, and to be honest, it is HARD to search for jobs.

Over the last few months I have become very aware of where my bliss lies. And for me yesterday was a watershed moment.

I feel blessed to be able to KNOW what gets me up in the morning and what fills my heart with fire and determination. I have not been listening to the inner me lately, which is more than likely the reason I have felt so out of place. So I am saying here,

ELLIE IS GOING TO FOLLOW HER BLISS!!!!

It's scary, it's new and nothing is set in stone. But that is what bliss is about. It's there waiting for you. It knows you have ventured off the bliss path, but it still waits. Waits for you to turn the light on in you head and find it again.

Here is my plea to you lovelies; FIND AND FOLLOW YOUR BLISS!!!! Don't let anyone tell you that your version of bliss is not good enough, don't let fear keep you away from bliss, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE never settle for something less than your highest form of bliss.

As you can tell,

"something has changed within me, something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someones elses game."

Curly Girl

When I was growing up it was the 80's and big hair was IN. So my mother, the trendiest mom in all of Yankton (as far as I am concerned) followed the trend with her and her 2 daughters and permed our locks every chance she got. We also did the whole butterfly wings thing, you know pick up you hair right by your temple then spray it with, what can only be described as, spray GLUE. Yeah,we were quite the trio of curls.

So as I grew up (and went through "my time") my hair naturally turned curly curly, to my dismay and my moms jealousy. I have always been at war with my curls. My hair is THICK and when it gets to long it sits around my neck like some sort of fur muff. It is HOT and FRIZZY! That is until I found a MIRACLE.....

DEVA CURL!

No joke, this stuff is AMAZING! I have the gel (AnGel Firm), the spray (Set it free moisture lock), the NO POO cleanser, the conditioner, the towel,

AAAAAND the diffuser!

Yes, that is it. It looks like an alien.

This system has done WONDERS with my hair. It isn't crunchy, it has TONS of volume and best part, NO FRIZZ!!!!

My curls have always dictated everything from the way I cut my hair to how I wear it to the color it is... not anymore, I finally really like my hair and I LOVE to wear it curly. Plus I feel like it is so much healthier.

Since starting to use this system I have gotten so many compliments on my locks. It's AWESOME!!!!

I am still growing my hair out after a hack job that happened a year and a half ago, but I am crossing my fingers that I will have it to the length I want by the wedding and that day it will be down, and curly, not frizzy and totally me.

Once a curly girl, always a curly girl.

-Elz